Anew. A. New. Beginning.

Whoever said you have to wait for new year to start something? It just looks good starting something—anything—and putting the “01-01-YYYY” thing, but everyday is a new day; a chance to take up something that you’ve been meaning to do; take the first step and continue for the next 364 or 365 days! Hah!

That said, I’ve decided to start with my Project 52 again. 365 is too much for me, but, hmm, i can give it a shot. Time to take up the challenge this time and emerge victorious after a year! Yes! (All thanks to a certain someone who has inspired me for the past two months.)

So I guess I’d start off another—or rather, a new—blog entry for the year.

Not much interesting so far has happened to my life, unless, of course you’d count me starting with gym/workout again. For health reasons, i decided to start going to the gym again; for the past months, specifically during the latter part of 2012, it’s becoming difficult for me to climb the staircase, chase after the train, run after a burglar, save the world. It’s me getting old; it’s me and my old bones. Hahaha. Kidding aside, my back has been aching for good two months since July. I went to rehab and got treatment, but it’s not that worse to land me braces. Thank God. Just needed proper posturing and some pain meds if there’s really intolerable pain.

Besides back pain, there’s also me getting fatter. It’s sort of frustrating because I can’t really fit in my old costumes anymore, and wearing wigs somehow don’t have flattering effect anymore.

So taking a quick break from cosplay for a while, focus on more important things and gym, and work, and school, and family. LOL. I have no life. (Currently depending on the west wind to blow away the negativities.)

Personal (or maybe more on the physical) issues done, I remember during the start of the year, I happened to be tagged in people’s pics of their 2012 cosplays. I think it’s cool; some I have been a part of, some I simply ogle at like an idiot and admire from afar... some even literally from AFAR because seas and massive amount of land separate us. Anyhow, I decided to stop procrastinating and eventually made one, too. It was funny and sad at the same time. Funny, because fot the first half of the year, or at least through most of my cosplays, I look like a total dolt. Can only have mirthless laughter at some, whle some also garners the “Shit, seriously? I did this shit?” expression from me, followed by a hard facepalm. Good and bad memories came along the photos; bitter memories, sweet memories, the fun and the sad, crazy, almost everything. Some were priceless, some were easily trashed. And I’m not just talking about cosplay either.

Anyhow, I digress.

During the latter part of the year where most memories—where the mass of raw emotions and experiences were, stay the most vivid in my mind. The clearest will stay in my mind’s eye, for me to reminisce and bask upon. And for the bad ones to stay with me as lessons of the past that will guide me in the future relationships with people—friends and future enemies. It’s time I become more reflective with what I do everyday, gain more insight and continue to improve. After all, as i hear from few people I trust my life with, I am made for something greater. I just need to take the first step and... run like the wind!

And so, apparently, I am going in circles. Going all out without thinking; I’m good at that. (Just when I told myself I should get a hold of this blabbering online and start being noisier—within limits, of course—in real life.)

TL;DR

Back

So yeah, I'm back on FB. Not entirely back on track, but at least partly "alive" and "missed" as what my friends deem. Apparently, I missed a lot of stuff in only a few days of absence, then again, I've been also able to moon over things that I haven't been able to because of---yes, you guessed right---my busy sched/work.

I don't want to blame my job for making me unable to work on my costume/s and taking care of other tasks assigned to me for some future events. It's like, I can't seem to work due to a different kind of fatigue. Physical pain, I can handle. But mental and emotional stress? That's different story. It makes me incapacitated.

But through all these, I must remain optimistic. It's just difficult to deal with /things/ when you don't have the right crowd, you don't have the right people on your side, and you constantly have to battle with your inner self about nonsensical stuff.

"When you hope, be joyful. When you suffer, be patient. When you pray, be faithful." - What my good friend, Zhel Guiral taught me. I must persevere; I must learn to lean on God. Let the burden be taken off my shoulders, leave everything in His hands, and renew my relationship with Him.

Just because you can....

…doesn't mean you should.

I'd been interviewed once at a particular site by my good friend, Katz del Rosario. From what I can remember, I left an advice about cosplay for those who are only starting, and what I said went something like, "Never underestimate cosplay; it's arts, math, and science mixed into one." Well, it's true, at least the way I see it. Making one costume is only 1/3 of the whole of cosplay. The other 2/3 is composed of characterization and attitude. Even after some years of cosplay, I can't say I have all that every time I don on the costume and relate with other people.

Apparently, I'm digressing.

My point really, for writing this entry is to let go of all the bitterness I have for knowing somebody I know who cosplay out of whim, but basically say, "Oh GOD, I LOVE THIS CHARACTER!" all the fucking time. Out of curiosity, maybe, but I'd like to think of it as some sort of a plot to get attention (wanted, expected, or unwelcome; whatever, really, IDC); a way to "compete". Come on. At least choose a character that suits you, jeez. And by golly, I'm not even doing it for popularity! I just want to get shots of costumes I've crammed and made with love and hate; cursed and praised! And of course, to show genuine love for the character.

(I should make this my mantra every time I go choose a character to cosplay: "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.)

If I have no respect for the hobby, if I have no respect for myself, or I have no ounce of decency in my system, I'd have cosplayed those amazing characters I've been fond of for the longest time, like Kurapika from HxH, Sailor Jupiter from Sailormoon, Aerith from FF7, or even Princess Garnet til Alexandros VIII from FF9, Kuja (from the same game), Boa Hancock from One Piece. (The last one been terribly tempted to cosplay as, but shit, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS, SO I CAN'T. Not counting the reason that I can't because I'm not boobylicious or I have no flat stomach. Bleh.)

Okay, okay, okay. I'll stop after I say the last thing I have in mind in relation to this entry:

FUCK I WANT TO COSPLAY RANKA LEE BUT I CAN'T, AND THEREFORE, WON'T.

TL;DR

Caffeine and Protein Boost

Sometimes, I can't help but think that whatever happiness I've experienced one time, an equivalent amount (or even greater) sadness or unfortunate things happen. Equivalent Exchange, yea?

It's been almost a week since our last getaway to Singapore to attend Anime Festival Asia, to support our friends who represented Philippines in the recently held Regional Cosplay Competition, along with other rep's from Southeast Asia: Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. It's one of the most unforgettable experiences I've had, and am feeling extra proud to be a Filipino cosplayer. To cut the story short, Team Philippines (March Omega's Zhel and AC) won the competition, and Sir Robert Wong bagged the award for Singles Competition.

But now, it's back to reality. Back to work, and the never-ending cycle of waking up each morning, dreading each step into the ward.

For the past few days, I have this chant in my head that's intended to keep me a little boosted with work. It's to keep my head from being in the clouds; to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. Sadly, the power of words doesn't seem to have any effect in my performance. Instead, I continue to think and think and think, and it doesn't help one bit. When I think, I stop entirely and then my mind wanders to I-don't-know-where.

I need an inspiration badly. I want to have the burning passion to perform tasks efficiently. I want to be best both in career and hobby so I can say I'm satisfied.

Random.

It's only been a week since AFA X in Singapore and I still can't get over it! I'll just post my AFA and Singapore experiences next time.

Anyway, here be a random something that's cosplay-related (at last)! I haven't checked out my list of to-do things because it looks terribly overwhelming, so I'll just settle with my schedule (photoshoot and cosplay competition) in the mean time.

1. January
• Trinity Blood
• KHR: Kokuyo Gang
• KHR: First Generation
• Hakuouki Shinsengumi Kitan
2. February
• Shinsengumi
• Romeo x Juliet
3. March
• Hunter x Hunter
• Macross Frontier
4. April
• One Piece
• Blood+
• the GazettE
• Gundam 00
5. May
• 
  
6. June
• Fire Emblem
• 
  
7. July
• 
  
8. August
• 
  
9. September
• Romeo x Juliet
10. October
• 
  
11. November
• Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
12. December
• Final Fantasy 

I just realized the list is equally intimidating. And overwhelming. FML.

Unbelievable.

Somebody please enlighten me: Wat does this insanely PRETTY creature and I have in common?

GOD HELP ME.

Mishaps

Two days ago, there had been another con held at SMX Convention Center. Best of Anime, it was called. I cosplayed again, this time with a new costume that I have sewn myself! I feel so proud even though it's just a simple garb worn by court people in Japan during the Heian era. Well, it was for the character in KHR (because I'm a KHR fan), Asari Ugetsu.


(from here on, it's copy-pasta'd from my dA, because I'm L-A-Z-Y like that.)



It took me two weeks to research and one week to cut and sew. I must have been working too slow because I was just making a kosode, hitoe, sashinuki and kariginu for this particular character. Makes me wonder, actually, how some people manage to sew their utterly complicated costumes in a span of three days to overnight. HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Albeit there were a lot of mistakes in the costume, it is a fulfilling experience (though most people don't appreciate your work). I mean, the feeling of designing and creating something using your own hands, blood, sweat and tears (despite it being simple, ugh) makes one pursue more of the craft, improve and just have plain fun. It may be taxing, especially to those who love procrastinating (like me), but still... it feels so DAMN GREAT. :>

Thanks for those people who cheered me on. :> I promise I'll do better!

[/end copy-pasta]

In my opinion, the con isn't actually that special. In fact, I didn't see where the "best" was. In a sense, it was disappointing, but at least there were a lot of good cosplays and ozm cosplayers so it wasn't that much of a fail. We're still hoping that better cosplays would be seen on Cosmania two weeks from now. :>

Okay, I guess I'll end it here for now. Will put up pictures of me and my friends' cosplays during the event when I find decent ones, LOL!