I just wanted to ruffle your hair, stroke your face, hold your hand as we walk. But I guess doing those will just be part of a far-off dream, right? I brought it upon myself, and I'm not proud of it.
Someone told me it's okay to be nervous when contemplating on talking to someone whom you know you've done something terrible against; it means the intention of really hoping to work it out is there. But why do I feel like whatever I do, it won't be enough for me to be forgiven, or to have things go back the way they were? And what if... maybe... I'm not giving anything special, instead, just sadness and pain? Do I still deserve the love given to me? Or, shouldn't the question be: will I be good enough to fill up the void? Does a wretched person like me who only thinks of myself deserve someone as good as her?
If I lose her, what then?
...Then again, reality check, aruki. You don't own her.
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