Pondered a little

It's a common sense to actually appreciate something (or someone) due to its aesthetically pleasing qualities seen by the naked eye. For some, it could be a well-made jewelry, a beautifully coutured gown, a handmade card, a colorful painting, or even a delicate figure of a ballet dancer. But for others, it goes deeper than that; they focus on something that is discreet, partially hidden from the threat of external force, trauma, destruction.

Sometimes, I could not help but wonder how shallow people have become. I'm sure that not only I am guilty of this, but we often judge people simply by their external appearance--how well they are dressed, how pretty their faces are, how elegant they look with their accessories. But isn't a person worth something more than those?

Yesterday, I went to a small-scale job fair so I dressed up like what a normal female would on an occasion such as that: yellow turtleneck, beige blazer, black pencil-cut skirt, skin-tone stockings and 4-inch wedged shoes. As I am not comfortable hooking a bag on my shoulder, I made use of a leather backpack that seemed to go with my attire. This, er, clothes totally deviates from my usual attire of plain tees and pants and rubber shoes with a hardcore knapsack to boot, so I was not entirely comfortable. But I tried to at least look like the part that I'm presentable enough and all business-like.

After looking around and leaving my resume, I decided to leave as there was nothing else to do. So I walked and walked and walked despite my feet screaming in agony, cursing me for dragging them along the hard concrete 'til I finally found a seat to relax my aching muscles. But as I was wandering around, I noticed people staring at me as I passed by them. I usually walk while staring at the ground because it was not like me to attract any attention. I don't really want that. As much as possible, I'd like to stay incognito, but alas, that day, I wasn't so... lucky.

My point here is that, well, if I went there and walked past them donning my usual clothes, they won't spare me a second glance because I simply wasn't that attractive and I'm basically not worth a second look. But after wearing those clothes and walking really slow, they notice what was once just seemed to be like a figment of their imagination. I even heard a low, "Hey there" as I tried to whiz my way out of the crowd. It kind of disappoints me to realize that unless you're looking utterly pretty, or at least, stand out in the midst of a normal crowd, nobody would even notice you. It makes me feel that there's a demand in this fast-paced world that you have to act like what most popular people do, or dress up like famous people would to be able to gain attention, or at least be rewarded a second-look (not that I'm asking for it, but meh)....