Bouts

New status on FB: "Sucks that I'm never good at anything."

True. It sucks big time when you're well aware that you're capable of doing something, but the results not exceptional in actuality. Knowing how-to's of little bit of everything, but not one thing living up to accepted standard. Jack of all trades, Master of none.


That applies to me. I know a bit of everything, but there's nothing that I'm truly a master of. It may be a good thing since from the few things or ideas that you know of a particular aspect or concept you may decide to become a master on it, however, once you reflect that there's nothing you can call your forte, bouts of frustrations will soon follow. And that's what's happening to me right now -- now when I am least in need of it.

Because I'm the type of person who most of the time compare herself with others' achievements, and see that what I do are nowhere near their level, I easily get frustrated; instantly gets back inside my shell and sulk. Because I'm a goddamn "perfectionist" who actually has nonexistent skills to save her life, I tend to over-analyze things and think too hard when the only answer is right before my eyes.

I'm thankful for the people who constantly cheer me on despite the fact that what I do are not even above average, but I suppose it's also proper for me to apologize to them because I feel sorry for my loser self who easily gives up and not even believe in herself.

I'm trying to at least be more positive when it comes to crafts or career, but the more people give me affirmation, the more doubtful I become. Sure, most of the time what I only ask for is a sign of positivity -- affirmation -- from people who continually support me, but sometimes my loser self surfaces and dominates my enthusiastic half.

Pitiful creature I am, I know.